Never Buy A Festive Wreath

Christmas is the holiday of giving. That's why I expect a lot of gifts this year. I, for one, could not care less about this materia...

christmas, santa claus, north pole, christmas decorations


Christmas is the holiday of giving. That's why I expect a lot of gifts this year. I, for one, could not care less about this materialistic holiday. It's yet another way to perpetuate altruism, the cancer of society. Christmas has turned into an animalistic frenzy of materialism and duplicity. And don't get me started on Santa Claus. The epitome of obesity and pedophilia. Let's not pretend this isn't just another excuse to circle jerk each other in order to stave off seasonal affective disorder. Pair that with egg nog, the perfect drink for the alcoholic in all of us. It brings together eggs, a breakfast staple, with a splash or 3 of your favorite yuletide bourbon. It's time that we all call Christmas what it really is. It's that time of year when television networks can play reruns of tired old holiday programs. Let's not forget the horrible Christmas gifts that await us. Clothes that don't fit. Chocolate that you don't like. Gift cards that you'll never use. It's, essentially, a moment where we give each other stuff to throw away. The only good thing about Christmas is that it comes only once a year. Can you imagine if we had more holidays that involved giving gifts and being nice throughout the rest of the year?

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