How to Get Drunk Off Saint Archer's Blackberry Gose

If you know anything about me, then you know too much. One thing I am very open about, however, is my affinity for all things beer, mainly d...

If you know anything about me, then you know too much. One thing I am very open about, however, is my affinity for all things beer, mainly drinking it. While I do appreciate the hard work and passion that goes on behind every drop of beer, I'm just hoping it gets me wasted. I don't care how many brettanomyces you used, how hoppy your hops are, or what type of oak barrel you aged your beer in, I just want that sweet, fermented poison traveling through my bloodstream like there's no tomorrow.

For many of you who haven't guessed yet, I drink like a fish with a drinking problem. One time, I got so drunk I was arrested for disobeying a female police officer's order to stop recording her. Like it's my fault her bathroom window was open. You can call me a boozehound, a barfly, or a wino all you want but the medical term is alcoholic. Over the years I've developed an encyclopedic knowledge of all things beer-related. I'm here to share a bit of wisdom with you.

Recently, I came across an interesting looking beer from Saint Archer, a San Diego brewery. The box was a soft purple, almost lavender hue. So I bought a six pack of cans and headed home to enjoy a frosty breakfast beer. As soon as I got home, I ripped open the pastel-colored box and shotgunned one can, subsequently crushing the can on my forehead for no reason whatsoever. To my surprise, this beer would be more than a means to get me plastered.

I had never tried a Gose (pronounced "Go-Zuh") style beer before. The first chug was as refreshing as a beer can get. I really enjoyed the tartness developed by the bacteria during the brewing process. The Pink Himalayan salt balanced the acidic bite with its salty, rich taste. The ground coriander added notes of spice to an already pleasing drink. All of these flavors melded perfectly with the subtle hints of blackberry throughout making it an invigorating summer drink.

Keep in mind, Gose style beers are usually low in alcohol content so you're going to have to drink more of these lilac-colored cans in order to feel anything. This particular beer clocked in at a low 4% ABV. After chugging three Blackberry Gose cans I felt a slight tingle, akin to something Spiderman would feel. Although the lightheaded feeling and general sense of happiness felt good, I needed to acquire more data and research for my post so obviously I finished the six pack.

If some of you are new to my blog, it's imperative that you know one thing. Unlike most people, beer doesn't impair my mental faculties, it heightens them, to superheroic levels. I can drive better. I can operate machinery better. It's truly astounding. After six Blackberry Gose beers I can honestly say that these are some tasty refreshments. A lot of you may say that any type of Gose tastes like sweat, and you'd be horribly wrong. It's sweet, spicy, sour, tart; it's everything you want in a beer and more.

The great thing about a Gose is that it pairs well with almost any food. It cleanses your palate after every bite and doesn't make your tongue hurt like when you eat a pineapple. It would go well with anything grilled like chicken, preferably the Grilled Chicken Sandwich from Chik-fil-A. Enjoy your meal out al fresco or huddled in a corner of your room, sipping the blood orange-colored liquid. Saint Archer truly hit it out of the park with this one.

I congratulate them for teaming up with the very kind and helpful Miller-Coors company in order to get this beer to all corners of the world and I agree with their mission because every human being of all colors, shapes, and ages should be able to drink this energizing tart wheat ale. Drink six of these bad boys and you'll be up and ready to go to the beach, visit a museum, or binge watch shows on Netflix. I enjoyed my beer while writing this blog post in my patio. There's nothing quite like drinking out in the open in front of children.

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