A Day in the Death of a Cannabis Copywriter

I write about and consume cannabis, although consume is an understatement. For research purposes, I visit my local and federally illegal c...

I write about and consume cannabis, although consume is an understatement. For research purposes, I visit my local and federally illegal cannabis dispensary to get flower (mainly sativa strains) with slight aromatic notes of berries and pesticides. I also make sure to grab a couple of pre-filled cartridges to accompany my other paraphernalia that comes in a child-proof pouch, unfortunately. These materials inspire me to create valuable content for the cannabis industry and beyond. Hero isn't a word I'm comfortable hearing from other people, so I'll just say it myself. I'm a hero.

I write from home, which is technically my parent's. While it's not an ideal living situation, I do enjoy not having to pay rent, despite my parent's insistence that I do. For all the bad mouthing I do behind my family's back, they've always supported my dreams, even when I wanted to be a musician. I wasn't just in it for the groupies. I was in it for the pure fun of playing music. And the groupies. I sit down at my desk and furiously type away as I listen to my favorite genre of music, Scientology Metal.

While I work mainly from home, sometimes I like to visit local coffeeshops, although the baristas get mad whenever I write with crayon on the wall. I tell them that I ran out of paper. I've found a cool place that makes delicious fair trade coffee that only slightly fucks over the coffee bean farmer and their family. I love the freedom afforded to me by working remotely. I can literally work wherever I want (as long as there's strong wi-fi) and whenever I want (although, strictly during Pacific Standard Time business hours).

Whenever I'm not writing for clients or myself, I like to spend time with my friends and family. For example, the other day I helped my friend move. He didn't ask for it and wasn't even moving, but I did it anyway because that's just the type of friend I am. You don't have to ask me to do anything. I anticipate needs. I did the same thing with my dog. I anticipated his needs so much that I had him put down before he even developed any symptoms of a chronic illness.

I also like to spend time window shopping with my friends, though I am running out space for all of these windows. We like to visit craft breweries to try different types of beer. My favorites are the ones where I can taste the notes of pretentiousness. Sometimes, I'll even get some writing done at a brewery despite getting awkward stares from other patrons. I guess they're not big fans of people dictating text into their phone as they pace around during trivia night.

At the end of the day, I get tremendous satisfaction knowing I am dispelling myths surrounding cannabis, so that people can learn how cannabis can help their lives. Writing (and reading), in general, can also be therapeutic tools to lower stress and improve your mood. In fact, writing helped me find the meaning of life. It was in the dictionary.

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1 comments

  1. You're a hero? You might want to start thinking about cutting back, dude.

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