These Jokes Are Comedy Gold

1. I love going to public libraries. All the books are free to read. You don't even need a library card to steal a book.

2. If I wasn't unemployed right now, I'd be an architect. A bad one at that.

3. A good deed never goes unpunished. I make sure of it.

4. My friend tried to get me to join a gym the other day, so now I have one less friend.

5. I try to do as much as I can to support the troops, but sometimes they're just too heavy.

6. If I was ever kidnapped that would really boost my self-esteem.

7. Pimples are like bubble wrap. You can't just pop one.

8. We need a Disney Princess that kills herself.